ethics test 2009

I can't get through this thing without something that trips me up. It's really the thought that the state of Illinois is telling me anything at all about ethics. The state of Illinois? Where the senator pretty clearly bought his seat, Obama's seat?

So anyway, sometimes I get halfway through the test, and I idly take a picture and put it on my desktop. I'm an employee of the state; this is just barely a crime, and in fact I do nothing with it, so, maybe I'm just filling up a state computer, idly, with junk. Nevertheless, like I said, I can't get through the test without at least dangling my foot in the water.

So they have this rule; it infuriates the academics. You're not allowed to finish the test too fast. If you do, they assume you're cheating. B-S, say the academics, if we couldn't speed-read, we wouldn't be where we are today. Actually there's no punishment for missing all the questions on the test. They assume, correctly, that if you actually read the test, you'll try your best, and you'll be mad enough when you miss, to go back and read the right answer. I say, correctly, because I always do, just out of curiosity, and just because, as an academic, I hate missing questions. Actually, I'm not a fast reader, so it's not that much of an issue for me. But I try to be leisurely anyway. I don't want to be accused of reading too fast.

So this year, twenty minutes to twelve (when I swim), and I start the test, which is supposed to take about fifteen minutes. Should be plenty of time. But it's not. A student walks in and needs about twelve minutes of my time. Which means, it's time to swim, and I'm not done with the ethics test.

So I go swimming, leaving the thing on, on my computer. But now I know: if it takes me more than an hour to complete the test, this will be a red flag to them, won't it? They'll say, he deliberately walked away for an hour, so that he could take long enough to finish the test. Maybe they'll accuse me of trying to beat the system.

But they didn't. Apparently it's all computerized. If it's less than ten, you lose. If it's more than ten, you win. Or something like that; if it takes you forever, how is their computer to know? It doesn't flag anyone. At least, not yet.